Melancholy
by Old Man Jeevas
Summary: Near never cried. But it was never because he did not care. [MxN][Spoilers through chapter 99][OneShot]


Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned or involved in this fanfiction. This is a purely fan-based story.

A/N: I'm only just starting book 10 at the time of this fanfiction, so I don't really _know_ a lot of what happens. I've read summaries, but for all authoresses' liberties, don't hate me if I mess up some details. Example, how Near and Mello's parents died. Maybe they explain it somewhere. Dunno. But, anyway, I'm interpreting their childhoods in my own way.

Spoilers: Through chapter 99

Characters: Mello and Near

Pairing: If you like shounen-ai, it's MelloNear/NearMello. Whatever. If you don't like it, there's no pairing. :P

Rating: PG

Near didn't cry for his parents.

He was too young at that time, anyway: his mother died in childbirth and his father, struck with sickness from the grief, died weeks later. Near lived in a quite orphanage until he was five, when a man named Roger noticed his unusually high IQ. Near was then identified as a possible successor to L, and went on living at the Wammy House in Britain. He was happy there.

Near could remember when he first saw Mello. Mello's parents had died in a fire when he was ten, Near could remember, how Mello looked then. The blond's hair disheveled, his face sweaty as though he had just escaped from his burning house, his hands clenched into fists so tight as his sides that his knuckles whitened, contrasting the black soot remaining on his palms and fingers. Mello's stance was defensive, like a cornered animal. His eyes were red from crying, but still shone irately. Mello, even at a young age, was angry. He always seemed angry and frustrated with the world. Near had no first impression of the boy, just the distinct memory of him standing with Roger in the front foyer of the Wammy house, which was somewhere with all of his other distinct memories.

Near didn't cry, but he could remember that Mello did. When the two of them were younger and shared bunk beds, Near could remember staying up late to glue together intricately cut pieces of a model, and being occasionally distracted by the bed frame shaking. Mello was on the top bunk, and Near could feel every move he made via vibrations. Near was really too focused on his own hands making precise movements to notice Mello's livid sobs choking the thick silence in the room and Near was honestly too distracted by his mind controlling his hands to take note of the resentment and uncertainty flowing from Mello's eyes. 'Probably', Near once noted, 'he detests himself for crying like this.'

It's not that Near didn't care about his own deceased parents, he just didn't have enough memories to hold on to that would make it painful.

Near didn't cry for L.

The towheaded boy could remember thinking that L's death would mean that either him or Mello would be chosen to fill his shoes, but he never cried for the older detective's passing. 'If he died', Near decided, 'it was most likely a folly of his own, and if it was not, than Kira had an unfair advantage and L's death couldn't have been avoided.'

It was possible that Near's stoic reaction to L's passing made it even harder on Mello. The raven-haired man had always been something of an idol to Mello, and although they didn't oft meet, Mello would be upset over his death on both a practical and a personal level. And now, with L gone, one of them would have to fill his shoes. Mello had grown to almost hate Near, and the thought of working with him made him almost as sick as the notion of working under him. Although they had finally been acknowledged as equal because neither one could be distinctly chosen (although this was surely not the case, as with time, Mello was confident that Near would have been chosen as L's true protégé). And so Mello, after the death of his mentor, cried enough that night for both himself and Near. He cried because he had been humiliated and demeaned for the last time. He was done walking in Near's shadow. That night, even though they no longer shared a room, Near knew Mello well enough to know the older boy's intentions and emotions.

The next morning, Mello took his things and left the Wammy House forever.

It wasn't that Near didn't care enough to cry for L, the reason was just that he knew that even if he did get dolorous about it, no amount of melancholy could bring the dead back to life.

Near didn't cry for Mello.

He had expected his old friend's untimely death, to say the least. With a case as tough as the Kira case, even Near had reached dead ends, and when one of Near's subordinates informed him of Mello's passing, he spared very little thought to it. Mello was dead. People die all the time. Eventually, Near himself would die. Kira would die, just as L had, and the world would probably revert back to its old ways. Everyone would die, and the fact that Mello died in such a manner neither surprised nor depressed Near. His childhood friend had died of a heart attack, undoubtedly the work of a murder notebook, which gave Near all the more reason to bring Kira to justice. To say that the death didn't weigh on him with be over exaggerating. Near was not heartless.

It wasn't that Near didn't care enough to cry for Mello. It was just that if hel et himself start crying now, he might never stop.

End


End file.
